The World As Mare Sees It...
Heart Palpitations. And Love. Two Completely Different Things. 2003-01-14

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I'm feeling a little under the weather today. My body is trying to fight off some kind of virus, I think.

Last night, I was having heart palpitations that were scaring the living daylights out of me. I mean, hello! I'm 28! I'm healthy! My weight has just gone DOWN and my blood pressure is pretty damn perfect. Why is my heart deciding that it wants to take a visit outside of my chest?

Wouldn't that just be perfect? I finally look good, and then I go and have a heart attack. For the love of God!
Excuse me while I go knock on as much wood as I can find. No, I'm serious. No, I'm SERIOUS!

Anyway, after doing some casual inquiries of anyone who might know, it seems that it may have to do with the Crystal Lite that I was drinking last night. Apparently, aspartame can make your heart feel like it's trying to climb it's way out of your throat. Huh. Go figure.

* * *

I need something to look forward to. I find that the post-holiday/January blahs are better dealt with if I have a bunch of mini goals; little occasions that I can prepare for, look forward to... A constant state of anticipation is a good way to cancel out the winter blues, you know?

* * *

My horoscope says that I can expect love on the 18th of this month. That's this Saturday, if I've done my sums correctly. I'm going to a 30th birthday party for an old chum of mine that night. The theme is '70's-disco-wig, and we're to go as retro-funky as we want. In as much as the usual circle of friends will be there that evening, I doubt very much that the love in question will be in the crowd. Perhaps sometime that day? I don't know. I'm trying not to think about it. Anticipation is one thing. Setting oneself up for disappointment is quite another.

Don't you think?

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iimage: Jack Vettriano