In about 49 hours, the giant engines on a plane will come to life, and there will be some wing action, and I will look out at one of those tiny windows and think about how my brother always wants me to take pictures of other planes and clouds and wings, and how I've done that far too many times and I'm just too lazy to get my camera out of my bag right now and gosh, I wish my seatmate was cute enough to make out with.
Because, having done had just that kind of luck in the past, I have to admit that it does make a trans-Atlantic flight that much more enjoyable.
Forty-nine hours, and the only thing I've accomplished is the placing of one lightweight sweater in my suitcase. One sweater, which will be removed because I don't think I'm taking it anyway.
You guys have seen me through three other trips to London, as well as countless other jaunts across provincial and national borders. You know how I tend to gloriously over-pack, and you know that I'll never be able to give up the compulsion. You also know that though I will admit to not having high hopes of wearing a lot of the pieces I bring, choice makes me comfortable and a much nicer person to be around. And hell, it's not like I refuse to carry it all, right?
And yet... and yet... my over-packing problem has reached a point where I'm actually hoping that someone will stage an intervention. This has gotten out of control.
Lined up in front of my open suitcase, standing neatly and at attention, stands:
- one pair, black leather boots, sensible heel, knee length. Perfect for under jeans.
- one pair, black leather boots, higher heel, slimmer toe; slightly uncomfortable. Perfect for under jeans after six o'clock.
- one pair, black stilettos; pointy, luscious; sex on soles. Perfect for under jeans after nine o'clock, in gay bar, where hag status will be judged, compared to Margaret Cho and Julie Newmar, and found lacking. Also makes my legs look good under skirts.
- one pair, nude pumps, works well with new pastel-y outfit am bringing on off-chance of weather and opportunity happening at same time, ex. garden party at boss' house; tea with Camilla Parker Bowles, etc. Highly unlikely, but what if it does?
- one pair, cute red trainer-like flats with Mary-Jane strap, perfect for under jeans.
- one pair, black leather, Audrey Hepburn-style ballerina flats, perfect for under khaki capris am bringing in case it warms up to not quite sandal season. Highly unlikely, but what if it does?
- one pair, cute tan/white prep-school princess flat, perfect for same pair of capris, because black shoes won’t go with a lighter top, and what if I want to wear a lighter top?
- one pair, blue suede loafer-like things, with short wedge heel. Perfect for, um, under jeans.
I need help. Also, maybe more jeans. Because I'm only bringing two pairs (maybe 3), along with 4 other trousers (probably 5), 3 skirts, one dress, 22 tops, and 438 purses.
That should do for 10 days, right?
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