It is incomprehensible to me. Incomprehensible!
There are now pictures of me spread high and low over the Internet. My fellow JournalCon attendees have been indulging in a photographic love-in, and I have yet to see one shot that doesn't deserve to be cackled at and burned. However... and there's always a however... I just got my pictures back a few days ago, and I've got to tell you, poppets...
They're freakin' gorgeous! Gorgeous! How is it that the only shots of me that won't be posted for the world to see are the ones that make me look - ok, not gorgeous... but, but... acceptable, at least! Ugh!
So very distressing. For instance... everyone knows that Anna Beth is just the prettiest little thing in the world. Weet wants to put her in a snowglobe, and that's entirely reasonable.
And everyone also knows that the long-armed, self-photograph known as The Howie will never result in a good picture. What usually happens is that you'll get a close-up of your own pores, making them look like miniature swimming pools of trauma and guck. Or you'll get a lovely picture of either the foreheads or chins of everyone who's in on The Howie. It's never a good thing, y'all. Never a good thing. Especially when you throw in a lot of karaoke-fuelled alcohol. Just before last call. At two in the morning. When you're still at the bar but your makeup has gone home hours before.
It's just common knowledge, poppets! You don't take a drunken Howie with aethetically gifted Anna Beth at two in the morning and expect to come out alive. You just don't.
Except I did. Oh, my Gawd!
How was I to know that while I was loading that film, I was actually handling a little canister of magic? Seriously, my beauties, it's like I was touched by fairy dust! There we are, a close-up of AB and I, and my hair is perfect and my eyes are shining and my smile is bright and even and lovely and not at all drunken-lopsided or anything!
There has to be an explanation for this. These are my theories:
A. Anna Beth adds beauty to everything she touches, and therefore everyone should line up to take a picture with her.
B. If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.
C. I'm still drunk.
Now excuse me. I think I'm losing my buzz.
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