Here, poppets, lies proof that at only 29 I'm already far older, far more square, far more out of touch than I ever thought I'd be...
My 20-year old cousin Zoolander has been coming over on Saturdays to help with my EnCoCa stuff. Last Saturday, he arrived virtually jumping out of his own skin, that's how excited he was.
"Mare! Mare! You will NEVER believe who I met! Oh man, I have a story for you, Mare!"
And so there I sat, next to my sister, indulgently listening to his tale of fame and luck and really good nights...
"Oh man, Mare! Ok, check this out! It was wicked! I met Jack White! You know, from the White Stripes! Jack White, man! It was so cool! Ok... ok... So Thursday, me and Cheech go stand outside the Hershey Centre, cuz they were playing right? Only, it was sold out and we couldn't get tickets, but Cheech, man... Cheech was determined to meet Jack. I mean, he decided he wanted to meet him, like, so long ago! And we had this huge sign, it was red and black and it said, "A Seven Nation Army Couldn't Keep Us Back, Please Shake Our Hand, Jack". And so, there's this side driveway, and there's the front entrance, and we knew they couldn't go in the front, but there was no other way to go in, so we got there, like two hours early, right? And we're there, waiting and waiting and waiting, and you know how COLD it was on Thursday, right? With that wind? Ok, so we're there, holding the sign, and then finally, Cheech tells me to go and sit inside the car for a bit, warm up a bit, right? So, I'm there, and sitting in one direction, and Cheech is holding the sign and facing the other way, and we're all alone out there, right? All of a sudden, I see something out of the corner of my eye, and I turn around and it's JACK WHITE SNEAKING UP ON MY BROTHER, MAN! And I'm like, "Noooo waaay," and then Cheech turns around and is like, SHOCKED! And then he's all, "Hey! Jack White! How're you doing? Lemme shake your hand, man!" And then Jack is all thanking us for waiting out here in the cold, alone, and oh my God how nice was he, man? I mean, to see us way at the other end from where he drove in, and to come especially to say hi to us! So then, Jack says, "So, see you at the show, guys" and Cheech is all, "No, man. The tickets were sold out! We couldn't get any! That's why we're here, man. We just wanted to meet you!" And I'm thinking, ok, that's just waaaay obvious, man, I'm so embarrassed cuz that looks just pitiful, man. But then, Jack says, "No problem! Just come tomorrow, and I'll put you on the list!" And he did, Mare! We were like, fifth row, centre! It was awesome! Jack White, man! Jack White!"
And as he finished his story, I shared his joy with a lot of "Oh my God!" and "That's so cool!" and "You're kidding!" and it was great! The excitement was high, and Zoo was just out of this world happy.
Except... except... very quietly, a few minutes later, when my cousin went to get a glass of water, I turned to my sister and had to whisper, "Who in the hell are the White Stripes?"
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