This is not right, poppets. This is not right at all.
This morning, in the shower, I conditioned my face. I conditioned my face, people! I'm obviously starting to crack. I mixed up my ablution routine, mixed up the order of my product use, mixed up what goes where and when. The stress and worry of December has succeeded in thoroughly unhinging me, and I'm starting to fall apart at the seams.
Although, come to think of it, my face does feel softer and smoother than usual today.
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In other news, today is my mother's 55th birthday. At her age, her mother was a grandmother for six years already. It was only, I think, the early hour of the morning that prevented my mother from reminding me of that when I wished great returns of the day. Not to worry; I don't think December has cracked Mommy up yet, so I'm sure she'll bring it up over the cake.
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I had this great dream last night, about sleeping. How meta is that?
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I got on the treadmill this morning. I KNOW! It's not even like I was half-asleep when I got in the shower to apply conditioner to my face! I'd already been up, managed to tie the laces on my trainers, worked up a sweat, and mangled the words to most of the songs on Weet's Bad Bar Mix, which is my current exercise soundtrack.
Let me tell you, poppets, I think I've discovered the secret to making the treadmill fun. See, instead of filling the room with music, I pop my Discman on, and start to sing. Now, deaf-ish girl that I am, I've never been good with lyrics. In fact, I'm notoriously horrible with lyrics. Which is why I make an effort to scream out the random lines of random songs that are blasting in my ears. No one else can hear the music, but they can hear this:
"Sweet Caroline! BA BA BA! Good times never... dum dum dum! Sweet Caroline BA BA BA! Dum dum da da dum dum da DUM!" tread tread tread walk walk walk "I like big butts and I don't da da da da da da da da tread tread tread walk walk walk "My anaconda don't want... pant, pant pant... tread tread tread walk walk walk "Her hair was kinda curly... "tread tread tread walk walk walk "Tricky!" tread tread tread walk walk walk pant pant pant Dum da dum! tread tread tread walk walk walk pant pant "...Only seventeen....pant pant "Dancing Queen!" pant pant "Build me up, butterpant pant pant da da pant pant...
I'm a born performer, my beauties. Knowing someone in the house is listening to this and getting a laugh keeps me going those few extra minutes. And, bonus! I get my heart rate up!
Happy Wednesday, darlings. Give someone a kiss today.
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