Hear ye, hear ye! Mare is writing a second entry on the same day!
Right, I know I promised more details about my London holiday, but first, I must rant. Whinge. Cry, frankly.
I can not believe I ever convinced myself that my nazi diet-approved food was ever tasty.
Remember when I said that food is love? Yeah, well, let me specify. Carbohydrate is love.
Bread is love. Pasta is love. Rice and potatoes... true, romantic, hearts and flowers love.
Pizza? Orgasmic, wild monkey love.
See, here's the thing. I just ate a salad. A tuna, red and yellow pepper, cucumber and crisp romaine lettuce salad, with a dressing of my own tasty invention. Fat free, guilt free... and bloody taste free!
I don't understand! It was tasty a week and a half ago! In fact, it was downright delicious! But now... man, I could seriously go hog wild on a French baguette right now. I'm having dirty fantasies about eating the crusts that Jude left on his plate when we went out for pizza on Monday. In fact, I'm having dirtier little fantasies about ordering my own pizza. Large. No, Xtra Large, topped with, like, another pizza. Actually... ok, this is getting a little filthy right now... but I sort of have the urge to run amok in the kitchen of a bakery, sprinkling myself with flour and licking the baking pans. And maybe the bakers too, if they've got dough on their fingers.
It serves me right. I knew the withdrawal would be bad, but dammit, this is torture. See, I'm thinking that if I had gained more than 1.6 pounds, then maybe I would do a martyr-like embracing of the anguish, and take it as a rightly deserved punishment. But for a freaking pound and a half?
Ohhh, baby... food is love.
And I'm feeling particularly unloved right now. Unloved, and slightly mad. Kind of like Ophelia. To misquote Hamlet... Get thee to a bakery.
* * *
What a hell of a segue this is gonna be... I saw The Complete Works of Shakespeare - Abridged at the Criterion Theatre in London. Christ, what a funny show that was. I saw the same company do The History of The United States of America - Abridged four years ago at the same theatre, so it was a real treat to watch something that I knew was going to be of the same high quality. Seriously, if you can, you should check out this show. Their rendition of Hamlet is hilarious, and the use of audience participation absolutely fantastic. Much fun, much screaming laughter.
I also saw Chicago in London, at the Adelphi Theatre. Jude got us superb seats - 5th row, centre. Now, that was a fabulous show. Scantily clad women, men that were firm and fully packed, sex, murder, song and dance to die for... it doesn't get better than that, does it? Michael Greco, who's famous to all that watch EastEnders, starred as Billy Flynn, the unscrupulous lawyer. (Sexy bastard he is, by the way.) I left the theatre clutching the program and humming the tunes, a sign that the performance was indeed spectacular.
Fabulous Jude. S'all thanks to him.
Right. See how I slipped in some London there? I'll do it again, too. It's got to come out slowly I think, so that I can savour my memories a little more.
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