The World As Mare Sees It...
La-Di-Blah 2003-01-15










Operation Mini-Skirt Status: -46.4 lbs.
Mental State: slightly phlegmy.

I'm trying to fight off a virus. Ick.

* * *

So, you know that Op:M-S went on hiatus over the weekend. In turn, I went on such a binge of gluttony; small African villages would have been full for a month on what I took in in a few days. This morning however, I managed to weigh in at point two ounces less than I was on Friday. The weekend weight has been shed.

I'm starting to become obsessed. I know this, but somehow I take comfort in it. It's as if all the worry I'm putting into my waistline now, makes up for the years where I didn't care at all. Or when I cared, but it didn't matter, because all I did was worry about my weight while shoving a Supersize Mr.Big into my face. (Oh stop it, you perverts. I'm talking about chocolate.)

* * *

Much to my chagrin, I'm noticing that my anger level is going up. I get agitated very quickly, over very minor things. If I'm not careful, the little anxiety attacks will start to happen, and then I'll just fall into the slump that makes me listless and apathetic to any gesture of joy and kindness. The tiny little symptoms of obsessive/compulsiveness that show themselves when I'm over-worked, over-tired, over-anxious... oh God... they'll start becoming evident to others instead of just to me. This is all really upsetting actually, because I had really high hopes for the beginning of the year. Be positive, conquer the world... and I can't do that when the world is starting to lose colour and show up in varying shades of grey. I'm not crazy, dammit, but I'm a lot less fun when I'm not completely... right. And my little periods of... not being right... always start with my being short-tempered. It's all rather worrying.

* * *

Enough doom. Enough gloom. I always swore I wouldn't become one of those diarists that use this as a forum to grouse about their inner turmoil. You know, as much as I appreciate the value of 'talking it out', even to yourself, I also think that the more adjectives you give to a problem, the more power you give it to start to take over your life. You don't believe me? I give you Operation Mini-Skirt as Exhibit A.

* * *

I need something wonderful and exciting to happen. Any suggestions?

Have a hell of a day, my darlings.

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Check In - 2011-03-25
Ain't love grand? - 2010-07-26
Airing things out - 2010-02-22
Wierd. - 2010-02-19
Same old same old (arse) - 2010-02-16

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