I have decided that, in the spirit of Christmas, it would be downright insulting to diet - especially when there are starving children in this world who won't get to eat anything during this festive time. Therefore, I'm recording the 14 pounds of fudge and shortbread I ingested this morning as doing my part for the season. Shut up.
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I'm at a loss. (Not a weight loss. Donít get excited.)
I'm on the last day of my monthly calendar page, and I haven't been arsed enough to go and buy one for 2004 yet, so my scheduling practices have become a tad kerfluffled. My life is starting to revolve around little scraps of paper and, when I'm feeling really organised, Post-Its. Post-Its, Post-Its everywhere, to the point where I'm starting to hate the sight of the yellow squares that are dictating the wheres and whens of my life. Is it possible to overdose on Post-It notes? I mean, can you fool yourself into thinking that as long as youíve got little stickies covering the surface of your desk, the border around your monitor, and shoved into the space where your credit card lives in your wallet, then youíve got things in control? Is the sign of stickie-overuse really a cry for help in this cluttered and busy world? Am I tooÖ yellow?
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Iím going to make a last ditch attempt at completing my Christmas shopping tonight. Attempt is the operative word there because, after all, Iíve used up my brain quota for the day (read: week.) I actually had to remind myself what day it was several times today. Itís Wednesday, Iíd decide, before recalling that it Iíd already made that mistake, and itís already Thursday and God where has the week gone and how am I going to get everything I need done when itís only a few days Ďtil Christmas and everything at Piranha Inc. is still unfinished, and everything at EnCoCa is still all messy and I somehow have to find a whole extra bit of time to shift all the stock from downstairs dining room into a whole other room so that we can have 400 people over for Christmas dinner and when when when am I going to do this and God what am I going to get my father for Christmas and I still have 2000 Christmas cards to write AND SEND which means I have to hunt down some addresses which I think I have and of course thatís guarantee and which means some people may get their Christmas cards around bloody FEBRUARY and I STILL have to book my flight to London and at least I have my hotel booked which is not worth if I canít GET there on the day I need to get there and my BATHROOM NEEDS TO BE CLEANED andÖ
Chocolate. I need chocolate. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD IS THERE CHOCOLATE IN THE HOUSE?!?
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