There is so much in my head right now, I can't seem to sort it all out. I spend my days at work, I spend my evenings with the EnCoCa stuff, and I spend my nights tossing and turning and thinking about My Future.
My Future. Jaysus Holy God that's scary.
I need a pensieve. I need a little bowl to siphon off my thoughts, and stir them around a little bit, and then shove them away out of sight on the shelf in my cupboard that holds my quickly diminishing pile of fat clothes. Diminishing, because a few of the items have made their way back into the regular rotation part of my closet again. But that's a whole 'nother thought. And worry. Pain in the arse, really.
Right, well, here we go. I've decided to unload the worrying stuff I don't really need to keep in my head right now. Cleansing is good, and will serve as a welcome distraction. (And an entry. Because I'm a lazy sinner sometimes.)
... I suspect that in the Realms of Cool, Bjork is right up near the top. Though I can appreciate it, it worries me that I don't find her as cool as others so obviously do. In fact, I don't get her at all. Like, that goose dress she wore to the Oscars? Was that cool? Or was it just stupid? And, you know... her music... well, you can't really dance to it, y'know? I don't understand music that doesn't let you move rhythmically. When I hear it, I mostly want to close my eyes and wave my hands in the air while running through empty museums and old cemeteries. And maybe modern grocery stores, but only for insane juxtaposition reasons. So, yeah. Bjork. Am I not cool because I don't get why is?
... I've never felt the need to pluck my eyebrows. They have a good shape, and there are no rogue hairs where they shouldn't be. Well, not obviously where they shouldn't be. But like anything else, they could probably look better with a little touch-up. But they're fine! Really, they are! Ask anyone! Still... they say that the eyebrows make the face, and I worry that I'm missing out on a whole new face because I won't touch my eyebrows. Also, I'm afraid that by having nature-shaped eyebrows, I'm just like those girls who won't wear heels and don't own blow-dryers or use product in their hair. I mean, really! Who do they think they are?
... I worry because I missed The O.C. on Monday because I thought it'd be pre-empted by local election coverage. Then I found out that I didn't miss it, that it did air, and God, this was the episode after the episode where Marissa and Ryan made out on the Ferris Wheel, and I totally don't know what's going to happen with them just because I neglected to check my local listings! And this worries me. Because, I really love The O.C. I love it, and I still didn't look out for it. What if I do the same thing with, like, a baby or something one day? Huh?
... I need a couple of new pairs of loafer-like-every-day-black-shoes. The kind that are versatile and cute, with just a hint of hipster to them, but mostly reek of collegiate-preppiness. I need them, but I can't find them. They don't exist anymore. I'm very frustrated. I honestly believe that my not being able to find the right shoes is akin to someone else not gettin' some in a while. Frustrated. I feel very frustrated.
... I think I've lost some weight, but I don't trust my scale. It's being too good to me. Does that mean more than it should mean?
... I worry that an average two litres of water a day doesn't cut it. I think I should drink more, but I keep forgetting. As drinking water is a necessary part of good health, and I still manage to forget that, I'm afraid that, as getting dressed in the morning is a necessary part of fitting into society, I'll show up at work naked one day.
... I'm nervous about my hair. I often wonder whether it's getting too long, and as lovely as it looks - and really, it does - I'm having phenomenally good hair today - as lovely as it looks, I'm afraid I may look better with a short coif. Again, am I missing out on a whole better aesthetic?
... I worry that I'm incredibly shallow. I'm anxious about the fact that once upon a time, I was a journalism student, and now, when the paper comes, the first thing I do is pull out the Arts & Entertainment section. Then I go straight to the Comics. And sometimes, I pull the Comics first. I worry about my obsession with Heart of the City. Becasue I suspect that that little girl is more fabulous than I am.
It's time to stop worrying. I need to think about the important things in my head right now.
More later. I promise.
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