It's astounding that I have absolutely nothing to tell you today, poppets. Nothing. I'm forced, obviously, to start pulling things out randomly from my brain, and handing them to whomever is fortunate enough to be standing in front of me. Here. Let's start with you...
... Oh! Gay marriage is totally allowed and legal in Ontario as of earlier this week! Yay! Because seriously, if you're lucky enough to find someone - male or female - with whom you're comfortable having in the bathroom while you're peeing, then by all means... go. Be married. Be happy. Love is listening to you flush.
... So, I'm taking back the dress. Yes, that one. I tried it on again last night, and it just wasn't working for me. The back didn't fall nicely. The front was pulled too tight, giving me an unattractive uniboob. Mind you, that could be due in part to the fact that I'm currently retaining enough water to sink the Titanic. Regardless, my lovely and posh Holtz dress wasn't making me feel like Grace Kelly anymore. More like Grace Under Fire, in a dress from Walmart. Shame, really. The fact that I was in another boutique an hour before and tried on a frock that was even more expensive but made me look like Halle Berry has absolutely nothing to do with it. Oh GAWD this dress! Seriously. Halle Berry. It fit me like a kind and benevolent glove. Shimmery white, with a veritable garden painted on it... no, not tacky. Distinctive. Never fault your Mare's taste, ok? I know from ugly, and this dress isn't ugly.
I did not purchase it, though. I'm still weighing the pros and cons. Pro - it makes me look freakin' fabulous and will totally stand out. Cons - it's dead expensive. I can't think of when I'll wear it again after the wedding, except possibly to some ballroom dance function, but only if it occurs between April and September. I don't have shoes, purse or wrap to go with it, so will have to purchase those as well, which will run me another pretty penny. So really, I'd better not. Wiser to invest in something more practical and probably less expensive. But oh GAWD this dress! Seriously. Halle Berry. Ok? OK? Monster's Ball. Halle. Berry. Yeah, that one.
... FratBoy, a young and handsome Piranha, has made up a new word and is slowly trying to introduce it into every day vernacular. His rationale is such that if bling-bling can make it into the Oxford dictionary, then his word is just as serious a contender. He's stated that his word can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adjective. It's an all-purpose word that will be defined by it's context. And now my beauties, I ask you kindly to please give your reaction to this new addition to the English language. Use it in a sentence and leave it in the guest book. You know where it is... just to the left, past the curtained annex. (Taylor, you stay away from there! Poor Butler will never be the same again!)
In that regard, let me just add this: the Halle Berry dress? It is seriously pornax.
... so, today is Friday the 13th. Urban legend (born in Toronto, where there are more Italians then there are in Rome) says that the 13th is supposed to be a good day for us wops. In a rather pornax manner (see? See how easy it is?), I'm out to prove the theory by going shopping after work, where hopefully I will find a dress that turns my fickle heart away from The Frock That Adrian Brody Kissed.
May you all have a lovely weekend, poppets. Get kissed by an Oscar winner. It can only be a good thing.
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