The World As Mare Sees It...
The Secret is in the Shelves 2004-02-10

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Right, so, am I drowning? Because honestly? I feel like I'm drowning. Now, I'm not sure if you know this, and totally correct me if I'm wrong, but starting a business is hard! No, seriously!

And hello! For some reason, every time I turn around, I seem to need to a new shelf. Honestly, all day long, I'm just marking down on my Must Buy list... Yet Another Shelf. I think the key to any successful business may just be in the shelving. Honestly.

Maybe, just maybe, once I get enough shelves, I'll feel a little more in control. Because, right now? Not so much. There's not enough places to put things, you know? I'm forever stepping over things, or moving them out of the way, or covering them with something else. Everything is always right in front of me, or underfoot, or something; it's ridiculous, really. Right now, it feels like I'm never, ever going to get organized. And if I'm not organized, I'm never going sound professional, feel professional, be professional. (And you know, 'professional' is one of my most hated words. So it's not like I want to be it, but I'd like to at least be able to pretend, y'know? Seriously, to me, 'professional' is like one of those words that are trapped in temp-controlled office spaces, where other words like appropriate and issues are bandied about far too often. People, please. You know what professional and appropriate really mean? They mean BORING, poppets. And you know when the word 'issues' comes up? When something vaguely not boring is about to happen... unless something appropriate comes along and hits it on the head, lest anything exciting happens and ruins the professional atmosphere around us. Ugh.)

Where was I going with this? Does it even matter anymore?

Right, so... I've got to tell you this: today, the Bell Canada guy finally came in to install the new phone and fax lines. I hooked everything up, and not fifteen minutes went by before I got my first call from a client. A client! A real one, re-directed from London! The extra-loud-for-broken-ears phone shrilled, and I sort of jumped up from my chair and looked wildly around and kind of hopped around a little, and then I took a deep breath, picked it up and... "Good morning, English Company Canada, Mare-Ingenii speaking!" Poppets, it was so cool!

So now, I have a pretty new phone and a pretty new fax-copier-scanner-printer, which is totally all high-techy, and I have absolutely no idea how to use it, which just thrills me to end. I have more inventory than you can shake a stick at, and still more on the way. I have customers! And I'm gonna get more! Along with shelves! I have Very Firm Plans to buy more shelves, so that this business I've been hand-picked to run becomes the biggest thing you've seen since my pre-diet arse. I will be profiled in the kind of smarty magazines that I don't even read! You know! The ones that always have people with wire-rimmed glasses on the cover, and don't say a thing about Cruise-Cruz or Bennifer, and always tease you with headlines that that say something about Hollywood, but only end up being some précis detailing one studio's gross profit margin-y thing versus another. But still, it'd be cool to be profiled, don't you think? And I could buy a Trim Fitting Suit that will maybe transform me into a tall, elegant, reed-like person, and perhaps it will be in a Strong But Feminine Colour that will revolutionize the Uniforms of Women in Big Business. That way, when they put me on the cover, I'll look all professional-y and stuff, and I'll look hot, too!

And then, one day, maybe someone will ask me to be a motivational speaker, like Tony Robbins. And I'll stand behind the podium (...or strut across the stage?) and I'll tell my rapt audience that in order to become successful in business, they have to Go Forth and Build Their Inner Shelves...

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