The World As Mare Sees It...
Tootsie Roll Hell 2003-12-08










I am not a Sunday updater. Just like I'm not picky about chocolate.

Plop a pile of left-over-from-last-Easter chocolate in front of me, and I will most likely eat it. I won't totally enjoy it, and I will probably compare it unfavourably to at least three other kinds of high quality stuff... but eat it, I will. Because it's chocolate, and my backbone is made of Jell-O.

Therefore, your Mare's Sunday entries? Well, there's nothing ever going to be Lindt or Godiva about them. I'm just sayin'. In fact, we're all lucky if they make it to stale Cadbury status.

* * *

I'm having some serious food cravings. I weighed myself on Saturday, and can now claim an 11.8 pound loss. Yay! But... oy. See... here's the thing...

I have a weakness. A very specific weakness. I love me my salt, my sugar, my grease. I love my fast foods, my fine dining, my meals-in-the-middle-range. I've even had a small obsession with food you can order in a pub for years now - it's not always good, but even the smallest portions can handle a good binge eating spree when you need it. I love ice cream; I love chocolate; I love pie; I love creme brulee`; I love... I love...

I love the giantTootsie Roll. I KNOW! I don't understand it either - and don't even bother getting all Freudian on me, or start throwing penis envy theories around. I'm telling you... there is nothing more to my devotion to this piece of candy than the absolutely wonderful idea of having almost a foot of chewy goodness wrapped up in shiny paper in your hand. And did you notice the line in the ad where it says, "It could take you hours to finish!" Shyeah. Right. Five, ten minutes tops, people. I mean... c'mon! It's candy, not homework!

So, yeah, that's my problem right now. There's a snackbox here at work, and for $1.25 - a loonie and a quarter, poppets, a loonie and a quarter - I can indulge myself in lot of Tootsie Roll joy. Because there two of them in there, poppets. TWO! Two Tootsie Rolls! And no one has taken them yet. And I can have them! Except... not. Because I've made a "lifestyle change" and I'm "watching what I eat" and I'm counting calories, counting fat, counting points.

You know what's really hard about this? You really want to know? I've been good, and I actually can afford to cheat a little, but I'm trying to instil a little discipline into my eating choices. As well, it's entirely probable that that wee bit of sweetness will awaken a hunger for sugar that I've actually been able to tame of late. I can't be screwing with that, people! It's hard-won, this ability to lay off excess food for a while - and one bite of something I'm not eating to assuage hunger will get me back on the fat train like nobody's business.

I need help. I need help so that I don't eat my weight in anything I can get my hands on today. I'm drinking water; I'm chewing gum... I haven't had a cigarette yet, but I'm thinking that that's my next step. And I don't even want one! I just want that damn Tootsie Roll and... hell. Let's admit it. I want to eat everything else in that box too... which, at my last at-a-glance inventory includes 9 bags of chips, two packs of Twizzlers, 7 chocolate bars, 6 bags of fruit chews, a pack of Sesame Snaps, two packs of Jolly Ranchers, 6 mini-packs of cookies with cream on the inside and centres of sugared jelly. Not that I've been counting or anything.

Gosh, I hate Mondays.

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Check In - 2011-03-25
Ain't love grand? - 2010-07-26
Airing things out - 2010-02-22
Wierd. - 2010-02-19
Same old same old (arse) - 2010-02-16

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