Mare's Flirty Hemline Fund: added to DBFBF
Daily Bread Food Bank Fund: $94.00
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I'm thirty today.
A couple of weeks ago, I went shopping for a much needed pair of jeans. I have jeans that are too big, jeans that are too small, and jeans that fit right but are not of the 'I'm casually lounging in jeans' variety. As I was off for a cottage long weekend, the need for at least one pair was dire. I swear, I only went for the denim. The fact that the most killer, most amazing, most elegant, most sexy hot dress in the entire universe plopped itself down in front of me is obviously a sign from above, and I have never been one to ignore burning bushes. Oh, this dress... Oh this wonderful, feminine dress that makes my curves seem luscious instead of merely surplus. Oh, this beautiful basic wrap that makes use of the bounty that God gave me, and gives the world a truly excellent view of my cleavage. Oh, this dress... this dress that is truly, truly deserving... of a... fabulous... pair... of shoes...
Poppets, I swear, I didn't even have to look for them! They just appeared before me, in a shoe store that I didn't even mean to go into.
Ok, a shoe store in which I meant to go into but certainly only to browse and that's it!. There was absolutely no purchase mens rea involved.
But oh, they're so very perfect! Black, with a pointed toe that isn't too obnoxiously pointy and a slim heel that isn't too high to dance in and a fuchsia inner sole, because you know how I love a good inner sole, and and and... They are some seriously gorgeous shoes, my beauties.
Er. I kind of over-spent the Flirty Hemline Fund, poppets. In fact, I kind of over-spent it a few times over. But! But but but! I'm still losing weight, and working (sort of) hard, and (sometimes) embracing my ass. (Sometimes.) (Still hate my ass.) (Sometimes.)
So, in roughly one hour, I'm going to take all the dollars-for-pounds that you guys lost for The Toronto Daily Bread Food Bank, and I'm going to go shopping for non-perishable items that I will then deliver to the local fire station. Hopefully a hunky fireman wearing nothing but his uniform pants and a pair of suspenders will help me with the groceries. And maybe, he'll even let me slide down his pole.
It's my birthday, after all.
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Rest assured, my personality is not conducive to complete maturity, so emotionally, I'm only about 22. (19.) It works out well. (17 and a half.)
To all the other Geminis out there having a birthday today… Go ahead. Make your day. (Clint Eastwood, I’m looking at you!)
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