Sweet God, I thought it was heartburn. But then I treated myself for heartburn, and nothing happened.
Twelve hours later, I was still IN PAIN. And that's when I realized that it's the mother of all trapped gas.
I drank some gingerale last night, and all that did was make me see the light at the end of the tunnel, and allow me to breathe again without whimpering.
I have no idea how to fix this. I jumped up and down, I took a couple of walks... I just don't know what to do.
I mean, I'm all distended, and my BACK hurts now. Also: can methane rise like helium? Because now I'm AFRAID I MIGHT TAKE FLIGHT!
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