Operation Mini-Skirt: -39.6 lbs.
Mental Status: Quite good actually. Today is turning out fabulously, and it's not even noon yet!
I'm afraid that this is a shortish entry today, poppets. I'm not writing this from home or work, but rather in a cyber cafe in the heart of the gay ghetto in Toronto.
I took the day off today for a bit of a holiday, but mainly to go stand in line at a government office for a variety of things. I'd prepared myself fully too, with a book to read and a nutritious snack to while away the hours. As luck would have it though, I found myself there early enough to wind up all of my business within an hour and a half. Lovely, non?
Happily enough, by nine-thirty, I found myself with an unexpected free day ahead of me. The weather is quite humane, making it a pleasure to stroll around downtown. Consequently, like a Fruitfly to honey, I found myself meandering towards Toronto's rainbow capitol, as it's only a few blocks away from the government building I had to visit.
I managed to find a sweet little cafe where I enjoyed approximately four liters of decaf and a multitude of cigarettes. I had breakfast (egg white omelet - perfectly allowed in the nazi diet) and chatted with the waiter, who is officially the most adorable guy in the world. Business was slow, so he actually sat down with me and we talked about everything; my fabulous highlights; Des Moines - where he's never been; his boyfriend, gay clubs in Toronto, straight clubs in Toronto; Vermont - where I've never been; the Oscars; Whoopi Goldberg vs Steve Martin as hosts... God, before I knew it, another hour and a half went by. I don't know who he is; he doesn't know who I am... but he'll sure as hell remember me because I left him a great tip! What the hell, right?
Because it was early enough, I decided to treat myself, and really make it a touristy-holiday kind of day. I'm on my way now to the Art Gallery of Ontario to while away the early part of the afternoon. It's only because I passed this cyber cafe that I decided to stop in and share a little of my joy with you, my lovelies.
Oh, and get this... I stopped into this kitschy little shop I happened across, and I bought two magnets. I have full intentions of sending them to Bubbles and Miss Parker, but I love them so much that it might be a difficult task. The first one has a picture of a lovely 1950's era lady, and it says: She tried to be kind, but it was easier to be cruel. Hee! And the second one, which is my favorite, has a picture of a little Shirley Temple-ish girl, and it says: Some day, when I'm older, I'll smoke and I'll drink and I'll be the biggest whore this little town has ever seen.
It was just callin' my name, you know?
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To those who were kind enough to give me advice in my Thong From Hell crisis yesterday, I thank you kindly. By the time I got home yesterday, my poor arse was indeed staging a revolution, making me nervous and paranoid and convinced that people were staring at my poor, suffering, panty-lineless bottom. It's a sensitive area, people! It's used to full time-zone protection, rather than flimsy coverage of the GMT!
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Have a fabulous weekend, my beauties. I'm off to stand in front of some random piece of art, and look deeply moved, thereby convincing some random, handsome stranger that I'm sensitive and artsy and irresistibly shaggable...
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