The World As Mare Sees It...
A Star Is Born 2002-11-07










Last night, I had a dream that I got married. I'd tell the groom in question, but I'm afraid that he'd propose.

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I'm going to a party this weekend. A get-together. An intime soiree`. Sleyefox is officially Warming her new abode on Saturday by having people tramp all over her new floors, eat her food and consume her beverages. I'll be doing the tramping (heh heh) but not the eating or drinking. I hear that there's going to be several people there who I've not met before, which is wonderful because our incestuous little group, although fun, can be tiresome at times. Is that bad? Is that a horrible thing, to get tired of the same people in the same places acting the same way aawwll the tiiime?? Even if they are your friends? I suppose I shouldn't complain, as they probably think the same thing. But damn it all to hell... just once I'd like to walk into a room full of strangers, choose a victim, make sparkling conversation, and absolutely know for a fact that someone who has known me for the last eight hundred and fifty years won't, four minutes later, unwittingly make some comment that will completely blow my cover and expose me as the nervous and unfunny idiot that I really am.

I admit that I'm a people person. I'll even confess that I love it when positive attention is lavished on me. If you want to know the truth, I'll even go so far as to say that I don't always have to be the Dean Martin of the act. I'll willingly take on the Jerry Lewis part, the boob, the butt of the joke... because after all, everybody loved Jerry just as much as they loved Dean. Look at France! Whatever the role, whether I'm working the room alone, or travelling with a co-hort... I love holding court. I love being remembered, quoted, enjoyed .

Ok, so I've got a bit of a problem. I like being On. And I can't do that with the regular group because... well... because... they've seen it all before. And frankly, I can understand that. I know when my friends are On too, and I've caught myself begrudging their fun by inwardly rolling my eyes.... I never spoil the act, of course... but... is it jealousy? Is it momentary envy that they've got the spotlight and not I? Is that what it is?

So, my question is this. When this happens, am I supposed to realise my selfishness and let the friend in question enjoy the moment, or am I to make like a Whitney and push the bitch out of the way?

Enjoy your spotlight today, my lovelies.

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Check In - 2011-03-25
Ain't love grand? - 2010-07-26
Airing things out - 2010-02-22
Wierd. - 2010-02-19
Same old same old (arse) - 2010-02-16

iimage: Jack Vettriano