Ladies and gentlespoons, I totally need your help. Ok? Ok? Guestbook is on the left. Once upon a time, this fine gentleman used to make out with my butler in there, so if there's a mess, totally blame him.
Anyway, here's my quandary: I'm having my second annual 29th birthday party this year, and while I have something of a plan in mind, I'm not quite satisfied with it yet. Now, I know what you're thinking: you're figuring that the first order of business is to lose the denial, and admit that I'm turning 30. And y'all may be right, but poppets, one step at a time, ok? Let's deal with the party before we get on to the shrink's couch.
So, seriously. Today is the fourth of March. My birthday is on the 31st.
Of May. I know!
Time's a tickin', my beauties! We're not only racing against regular old time, we've also got that old standby, my Maternal Clock Brigade, to deal with as well as the Waistline Expansion Control Plan Committee, and that bittersweet mistress, the Hair Salon Visit Controller. That's a lot to think about, poppets! Plus, if that isn't enough, I've got, like, living and pretending to be a grown-up and running a company to deal with!
So, you see why I need your help? I need to do something extra-specially good for my birthday, something that proves that though I'm getting on in years, I can still shake it like a Polaroid.
So, help me out here, darlings. Pour some brilliance on me, ok?
* * *
So, amazingly, though I gained a bit over the course of the holidays and then on my trip to London, I've since managed to also gain a little control of myself, and lose the excess. This whole self-monitoring thing is actually working for me. I thought that working at home would totally spoil me for any kind of diet control, but interestingly enough, the choice of cooking something wholesome at lunch is one I'm taking more and more often. Before, the time invested in preparing something when I'm not hungry that I would then have to take to work would prevent me from making the healthiest choices as far as lunch was concerned. And let's face it - that's because my planning techniques are pretty ghetto. Also, I'm lazy.
But now? When I'm hungry I just go straight to the fridge. Because I'm at home, I have plenty of natural meal ingredients from which to choose, and a decent amount of time in which to prepare it. It's really quite lovely. Also, because Zoolander is here working for me, we'll have a nice sit-down meal of a lunch that keeps us satisfied. My need to eat something distinctly unhealthy in the afternoon is gone. This is so weird, because when I was working at Piranha Inc., I'd dread weekends, as it would mean being at home, going off schedule and surrounding myself with too much food.
Huh. Bizarre. Sometimes, poppets, I truly surprise myself.
* * *
Oh, I've got a weird question for you, my darlings. Here and there throughout the last few months, I've taken to snacking on popcorn in the late evenings. It's a pretty guilt free snack, and it works well with American Idol. But then, the next morning, I wake up with a dehydration-type headache. Is it just a freak co-incidence, or can it be that popcorn is so absorbent, it totally soaks up all the water in my body, thus making me feel as though I've spent the night dragging my head along a sidewalk with a bottle of gin in each hand?
Weigh in on this one poppets, please. I really don't want to have to cut out popcorn because it gives me a hangover.
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